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Waitress who got mad b/c I peed in beer bottle (do u like me?)
So just about an hour ago, a few of my and I grabbed a beer at The Rocks in beautiful woman wants sex tonigh Lakeview, a place of which easily wins the hot waitress award in Northside Chicago. I looked it up online and their IWSGATMOMOTW raing was an stunning 75.75% (this is prob common local girls wants discreet affair sense, but that accronym stands for 'I would so go ass to mouth on most of the waitresses'. The rating system was created by the Feds with the Clean Air Act back in 75' I think it was). I'll continue. The place was rather busy and our waitress was smoking hot too. Her name doesnt need to be mentioned, but she had a butt that was so fine it was a god damn shame she had to sit down on it. And out of the of us, she was flirting with me the most by saying things like, 'want more water?', 'anything else?' and of course the confirmation comment of the night, 'I'll be right back'. We all know this last xxx essentially means she was ready for the D. My D specifiy. "I know you want it.." That was a quote from and Thicke and Foreal, but I think it applies to our situation awesomely. As the night continued, suddenly I realized I had to go pee pee. And since I was nestled against the wall, I simply did the American thing and grabbed my empty Stella bottle and positioned my penis hole right above the mouth of the bottle, all while my buddy continued on a rant on how is something he absolutely did not have an opinion on. Politiy and philiosophiy, is a diehard apathetic. So as he talked I filled up my bottle with pee then held it up high in the middle of the table and said, "Hey guys look. I just peed. That's me pee pee in the bottle! Ha oh yeah!!!" For some reason the silence from my friends made me my increase in volume, most likely in an effort to get them on my same level. Had I realized that you, the waitress to which I am writing, were right there, things would have gone differently. Well probably not, I have a few issues.. but maybe. "You kidding me asshole?!" you said to mask your excitement and hormones. "Go get me a water, bitch. And my friends too. And some chicken wings, mild. Not hot, because we can't handle that. We are pure breads whites. Well is 75% Asian, right ? But that's the same thing," I replied back to you swm searching for Orlando bbw, flirting with a textbook fashion as I slid you a wink by using my finger to close my xxx eye. In the back area, as I was tied to a chair for my choice in vocabulary, some big dude was brought out to threaten me. My friends meanwhile just kept chillin in the dining area and said for me to tough it out. We have a mutual understanding of strategic non intervention. I might have cried amd asked them to not be so undetsranding as I was dragged away from them, but I was toally just messing. With my body held still by duck tape, surprised I was when the bouncer decided to make me swallow a cup of stool and then tickle torcher me and in front of you and the non chalant cooking staff so that I would shit myself. Of course this wouldn't work, I thought. But then after 75 minutes, it did work. And really well too. It was rather to laugh really hard and shit at the same time, so I made a mental of a patent idea I formulated on the for the modern day colonoscopy, but I am not stupid enough to share such a secret now (no more , just tickling to cut down on the rising cost of . costs). And when it happened, 'it' meaning when I went poo, the bouncer who was breathing heavily pulled his fingers out from my arm pits and said, "Now who is the bitch? You just shut yourself little man. Ha! you think differently about being to our staff, huh?" Unmoved, I stared him down. " , I was likely to shit myself anyways. So this means nothing to me. Truth is, once you untie me, I am gonna go walk to the redbox, and then go home and get myself cleaned up. Now you tell that bitch Waitress that I love her and to come to my apartment if she wants to 'BA Da Ba Ba Baaaaaaaaaa Ummm I er get some loving it'.. Or wait, I screwed that up." "-SHUT UP." You yelled back at me. As he said this, I watched you staring at me from behind a pillar so I yelled out my address. The bouncer proceeded to untie me and told me I could not come back to the The Rocks for like 75 days. Imagine how big of an idiot I felt like when I got home and realized I never gave you my apartment NUMBER. You must have waited outside all night after your shift ended and for that, I feel so bad. But now.. Here I am. Just about ready to get cleaned up too ;) Swinger date Baskin Robbins. Single guy new to Northside. looking for nudist friends
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